ill add pics soon i promise

*tell all the english boys you meet, im the american boy back in the states, the american boy you used to date, who would do anything you say."

-brand new

i had a good vacation. ill post my pics from that soon. but jesus was it hell when i got back. i forgot to take my mood stablizers all break. then i got off the phone and my dad had dissapointed me again, so i went up to my room and started to cry, when my dorm parent came in and started bitching about something. i slamed the door in his face, and thats when it happened. i get so scared when it happens. sometimes i think that im skitzofranic. when i dont take my meds and get pissed, its like my former self gets locked up in a room. its so scary. and then all this rage just gets let out, untill i end up hurting someone or myself. but ya i got everything worked out with my dorm parent. he understands.

i feel so bad.

tonight i sat up on the roof, listening to dashboard, as the rain silently trickled onto me. i feel.....sad. lonely. far from, that thing that i need. far from anything...

leaving for vacation, 4 days. ill bring back pics, i promise~!